Forced Relationships

I don't know if I'm comfortable saying everybody has experienced this, but I know a good majority of people have been on one or both ends of a forced relationship. In my opinion both are equally as uncomfortable. 


As far as forcing yourself on someone that doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, whether it be a friendship or intimate, sometimes there is no clear cut sign that they don't want your company. Unfortunately, some are not able to express their disinterest because they don't want to hurt the other persons feelings or simply they just don't know how to express themselves. Neither one is helpful for either party. I have found myself in this situation multiple times, even after I say I will never force myself on anyone, anymore. What I have tried to do was take a step back and observe to see if my company is wanted; who is initiating the interaction? Am I the one always reaching out? Texting? Speaking first? Showing concern first? Extending invitations? In my case, yes I was. So with these answers, I proceeded to step back and see if the other party would show me the same courtesy, in all cases they did not. How terrible I felt thinking I was so in tune but I missed this. But, like I said it's not always your fault. So, after realizing what had happened, stepping back, I severed ties and sadly, was not missed. But lesson learned. 

Now, on the opposite end of this situation you have someone who is forcing themselves on you and you are not open to their company. This for me is a tricky situation because I am one of those people who don't like to intentionally hurt people's feelings. So, if the other party and I don't seem to be clicking, not on the same wavelength, not vibing. I don't want to humor them by showing in-genuine interest in what they have going on. I keep things very superficial when it comes to conversation and try not to let the conversation get too personal. I know some people may say, well why don't you just come out and say you don't want them around you? Well, for some people you may have to take it to that extreme. For me? I haven't had to do anything to that degree. Thankfully. Usually after I start to pull back, those with whom I'm interacting with just kept it to a superficial interaction and nothing further.

Bottom line is, everyone is not ready for everyone all the time. Sometimes there is just no chemistry and that's okay. You are not required to entertain everybody nor should EVERYONE be in your space. 

I was prompted to write this post because I was recently disappointed by a situation in which I was the person forcing myself on someone but I was doing it unknowingly. I've known this person for a while now and we were close, I thought. I started to get this weird vibe as if, they weren't wanting me to be as close to them as I was thinking we were. I was under the impression that there was something growing but I was sadly mistaken. I stepped back and observed the situation and began to see the situation for what it was. Forced Relationship. I stopped reaching out, stopped initiating interactions and noticed there was nothing reciprocated. In the beginning I was disappointed because this person outright told me that I could talk to them about anything and invited this relationship, but I was misled. After a few weeks of what I thought was a budding relationship, it was nothing but a road leading to nowhere. These things happen so I TRY not to dwell on it. All you can do is learn from your lessons, stand tall and keep walking.

I hope this helped someone. I will talk to you in the next one




What is beauty to you?

When I looked at the definition of beauty. All I found were words to describe the exterior of a person, place or thing. Which is typical an totally aligns with what society believes is beautiful. What THEY can see.

When I scroll through my social media I look at trends. What gets the most likes are the perfect face, perfect hair and perfect bodies. This is not news to anyone. We all know this. As I mature and go through my journey and my transitions I am realizing that trying to check off all the boxes of what will get me the most likes and the most comments is absolutely exhausting and I no longer can do it. I don't have the time or the energy to keep up with society and how they think a woman should look or be portrayed to the world.

Pic 3.jpg


I have began to open my ears and close my eyes. (not literally) but, stay with me. As I have began to not look at the appearance of others and focus more on what is coming out of their mouths, it completely changes the person, from my perspective. We move so fast as a society that we often forget to listen to people. We miss so much because we are so quick to say "Just text me!" and not stop JUST FOR A MOMENT. To be able listen to what someone has to say, you can connect with them in ways you wouldn't even imagine. I am daring you to try it.

So, as someone who has been natural for 4 years; 5 years no relaxer I have learned to embrace my natural hair and I find it absolutely beautiful. But in that process, I didn't embrace MY natural beauty. So, if the lighting and the angle isn't right, it's not getting posted because I know I won't get as many likes as I would like. Sounds superficial but its the reality of the situation. So, during the past couple 6 months or so, I have started to see myself in a different light. I haven't been as willing to try to obtain the perfect twist out or braid out, but just to rock my hair as it is. And allow it to do what it is going to do. For the first time, let my beauty be the forefront. Not my face, not my hair but what Amber has to offer.  Letting what's on the inside shine through, therefore making ME beautiful.

As I start my Loc journey, I am looking forward to the new perspective this will bring to my life. The new lessons that are in store for me and of course taking all of you on the journey with me. I hope that you enjoyed this and I look forward to talking to you all in the next post!





Are you what you post?

I asked myself this question as I was reading some of my previous  posts on Instagram. Am I what I post? Really? Truth is, as I've stated previously, as I am encouraging others, I am encouraging myself. There is nothing wrong with coaching yourself. There is nothing wrong with needing encouragement and guidance.

image 1.jpg

I used to be afraid to admit when there was something wrong or going on with me. But there is no way that I can help anyone evolve and transition, if on the outside I am putting on as if, things are always perfect. That IS NOT the case. I go through things just like anyone else, but how the situation is handled makes all the difference.

There's a motto that says, "Never let them see you sweat!" But why?  Why would I ever do that to people? That is not life, that is no where near reality. I am doing myself and others a disservice by trying to paint a pretty, perfect picture.

Now, there is a different between being transparent and simply having zero couth. I am in the business of being transparent with my life and how I deal with things, with the sole purpose of helping other. I, in turn make sure my social media presence supports that mission.

What I mean by that is, if it resonates with me, I post it, if it doesn't, I don't. I never want to just post things, just to post them. Not only does that not help me, it doesn't help anyone else. Even when I am going through the not so happy moments in my life, I still like to make sure that people know that, it is okay to not have happy days and YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS.

I get approached often by those, who state they appreciate my positivity. Although that is part of the goal, I also want to make sure that those that appreciate it, are also becoming comfortable enough to not be afraid to speak up when things are going on in their lives. Whether it be comfortable or uncomfortable. I want those I come in contact with, including my family, to know that it is okay to talk. It is okay to say they need help and no you will not be judged. Above all, I want to create and safe space for them to feel comfortable enough, to speak out when they need to.

So I leave you with this question, "What does your post, say about you?"

Talk to you soon!


I am, my biggest distraction

What did she just say?

You read it correctly! I am, by biggest distraction. If you all could hear the conversations that go on in my head, you'd think I was absolutely insane. And that's okay. I'm not ashamed to admit I talk to myself constantly. Truth is, I am an extreme introvert. So talking to myself, is one of my coping mechanisms. As I've gotten older, I've come out of my shell a little but, I still get sweaty if I have to talk in front of a lot of people. Anyway, the blog is not about how much I sweat, it's to explain how I distract myself. 


As you all know I lead a busy life. Full-time job, mom of 3, entrepreneur, blogger and influencer. But I am 100% positive that I would be further into my careers if I had simply, stepped out of my own way. Talked to that one person, went to that event; so many things I've talked myself out of, I literally closed my own doors. Things happen for a reason, but how do we know what things are happening, if we are constantly doubting ourselves? Putting ourselves in a box? Not realizing our own potential. 

So on top of talking myself out of things, I am a HUGE procrastinator. I always try to wait until the "perfect time" to do something, when the fact of the matter is, there is NO PERFECT TIME. Get it done or don't! That's it!  In the past and currently, I suffer from lack of self confidence. I know big shocker, I can empower and uplift other's, but don't fully possess the same power within. (But I am not here to put on a mask as if I'm perfect, we know that doesn't help anyone. I have flaws just as anyone else.) But when I am putting out those affirmations, providing motivation and inspiration to others I am speaking to myself at the same time. There is nothing wrong with that. Life is about constantly growing and evolving.

Some steps I have taken to get out of my own way is not allow myself time to talk myself out of things. If it's something I know I need to do, or know that this is a door I am supposed to walk through, I run and don't look back. If I take 0.5 seconds, I'll change my mind. I also purposely set aside  time to get what I need to get done for that day or week. If set a goal for the day, in my mind I have to do it . I hold myself accountable. I also have acquired an accountability partner who is more established than I am and who also asked me on a day to day basis, if certain things are done. Which means get it done! I prioritize my day including breaks and lunches at work. I make sure that if I have down time, I am getting something done. But making certain that I get enough sleep. Without proper sleep, I'm pretty much useless. As I write this blog, I haven't yet eaten dinner BUT the food isn't going anywhere, I have committed to getting this blog post published this week, so here we are. Over time I have been able to get better at moving aside and actually putting in work, but consistency is the key. I really hope this helped someone! Talk to you soon! 



Regaining Your Focus.

Hello all!


I was so stuck on what I should blog about, which is kind of crazy because as busy as my life is and as much as I do on a daily basis, you'd think there would always be something to talk about.

So, I know I'm not the only one that has been distracted, not once, not twice, but hundreds of times. The important thing to remember is "the comeback". Distractions come in all shapes and sizes, people or even inanimate objects, no matter what it is, it throws you off your game and causes you to run off course. Then you have to take the long way back to where you left off. I don't want to shed a negative light on distractions because of course we know that things that come into our lives, there is a reason. A lesson. But did you learn from it? Something that has always distracted me, is money. I know, who doesn't focus on money, right? Of course money is an important aspect of my day to day life, but, for me, it is not the focus of my journey.

Several months back I prayed to God and asked him to please show me what I am supposed to do in this world! I have friends doing this and that, getting degrees, while I sit here. STUCK! If it had not been for the distractions that he allowed to come to me, I would not have been prepared for what was ahead.

In the past 2 months, I had fallen off course when it comes to my goals and things that I am supposed to be doing in my life. Thankfully, it only took me a couple months, as opposed to years. I had to realize that although I may be uncomfortable now, the table that he is preparing for me, will leave me more than comfortable in the future. I should not allow, the want of money to lead me off course, I am here to serve. Period. Some times when we are given a task, we want the results right away, but, quality over quantity, right? If I am going to genuinely change people's live and have the impact that I've been shown, I have to do things, in the order that he has set before me. Excellence. My point in writing this post is to let you know that although, you may be distracted or may not even realize you're distracted, it is never too late to regain your focus. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post! I love you all!

May Peace. Find You. Always! XOXO

Going through the motions....STRESS AND ANXIETY

Hello again!

Another subject that people don't like to talk about is ANXIETY AND STRESS. Many people experience it yet, so few people know how to handle it. For me, I still deal with it, and am coping.


I can't sit here and say that on a day to day basis I don't experience stress and anxiety, because, that would be a lie and that's just not something I am here to do. My day to day life never stops, literally. No, I'm not complaining because I am blessed to not only be where I am, but to be a wife and a mother.  I take none of that for granted. But raising children, being a wife and still finding time for yourself is something that is easier said than done. If you aren't going through it, you will never know how someone feels, which can be said for a lot that we got through. One thing that I have learned to do in the middle of raising my children is take a second and breathe. I know it sounds so simple, but you'd be surprised at just how many people do not know how to breathe. It wasn't until I started to practice Yoga that I realized how important it was to focus on your breathing. The act of simply taking in a deep cleansing breath, exhaling and  releasing whatever it is that is stressing you out or causing you to be anxious; mind-blowing.  Needless to say I do A LOT of breathing. Dealing with a opinionated 7 year old, an indecisive 2 year old and a newborn is enough to drive anyone crazy. But with just one deep breath, I seem to find a way to deal with it all; gather my thoughts and move forward. When you're helping with homework, rocking your 3 month old to sleep while the 2 year old is running around screaming, just breathe. Then later on you laugh! LOL! I think of how far I have come as person and how blessed I am to be in this moment, and a state of calm comes over my body, and suddenly, I'm dancing on clouds again.

Some tips I could give anyone who is dealing with stress is to first ask yourself is it worth sourcing so much energy into? Will stressing or becoming anxious solve the issue? Is it out of my control? I don't care what anyone says there is nothing wrong with talking to yourself! I DO THIS ALOT!

I found that once I changed my eating, started to exercise and practice yoga, I'm having less and less of those panic attack moments and seeing red moments and I'm a better person for it.

I hope this helps someone and no matter the severity of your stress or anxiety, please talk to someone! There is nothing worse than going through something and holding it in! 

Thank you for taking a few moments with me! Until next time...

May Peace. Find You. Always XOXO

Potato Cleanse?

Hello loves! 

I am back again with yet another blog and life update! 


Some of you may be thinking, what the heck is a potato cleanse? Some may know exactly what I am referring to. No matter the case I am going to tell you about my experience on the potato cleanse, diet also known as the potato reset. 

So the week of December 11, 2017 I embarked on a 7 day potato reset. What this consisted of was the majority of meals came from potatoes. This is an oil free, plant-based way of eating. You can also have non-starchy vegetables. Limited salt and limited sugar. 

Eating this way was truly a test for me because I am so used to eating a variety of foods. I had already cut out eating oil about a week after giving birth because I wanted to get healthy and also of course lose the baby weight. After learning that oil no matter if it's olive, vegetable or coconut it is straight fat, and why eat fat if you're trying to get rid of it. But not being able to eat fruit was very difficult for me. My favorite meal was either potato omelette or cut up potatoes crisped on the George foreman grill. Just for a couple examples. I can go into detail if you guys would like me to, but I don't want to make this post too lengthy. Now I know this doesn't sound fun but let me tell you, watching those inches fall off my waist and watching the numbers on the scale decrease rapidly was fun. I felt good, I felt lighter and had lots of energy, sort of like I felt when I first went vegan. Now after several days, I did begin to get tired of potatoes but I set out to do this challenge so I was going to complete it. 


In total I lost 4 inches off my waist and a little over 10 pounds. Which is awesome! What I learned from this cleanse is that potatoes are completely sustainable and It did make me appreciate all the different types of food that you can eat on a plant based diet. This is not including the processed foods. I am talking about WHOLE FOOD PLANT BASED EATING. I am about a week in to going back to my regular eating and I don't feel as good. I am going to be honest, I have been eating some processed vegan food and I can tell the difference. BLAH. I need to get my life together. I can physically feel i'm eating like crap and it's coming out in my skin. So even though I started off well, I've quickly spiraled down. I haven't taken any measurements because I don't want to face reality LOL!! I'll get there though I just wanted to enjoy myself for a couple days.  

Overall, I would say if you're struggling with weight loss or feeling like you need to change your eating, I would definitely recommend the potato diet. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my post! Stay in touch with me on all my social media and I'll catch up with you on the next one!!



Pregnancy- Veg vs Non-Veg




Hello all, 

It's been a long time coming but we are finally here....POST-PARTUM! I have been waiting 39 weeks for this moment! LOL! I cannot believe I am a mom of 3 young men. What ride this is going to be. Most frequently asked question is: "How are you feeling?" The 1 million dollar answer is...TIRED. I am definitely still adjusting but I feel like I am doing well, if I do say so myself. 


The reason I wanted to sit down and write this post is to update you all on the differences I experienced being vegan while pregnant versus not being vegan with my previous children. There was a dramatic difference between this pregnancy and the others. Starting from the beginning, I did still experience morning sickness, that unfortunately did not change. What did change was my level of energy during the majority of my pregnancy and the negative side effects. I had so much more energy during the pregnancy than the others its amazing. I was able to keep up with my super energized 7 year old AND my rambunctious 2 year old. The next difference was the fact that I did not have to deal with gestational diabetes this time around. What a relief! I nearly jumped for joy when the nurse called me with the results. I didn't have the severe edema that I usually have to deal with and up until the last few weeks I didn't have much change as far as skin either. I honestly felt good. As with all pregnancies once you near the end you start to get miserable ad uncomfortable, that aspect was the same but overall this pregnancy was much better than the last two. I am so glad that 2 years ago I decided to go vegan making this journey so much more manageable for myself and my baby. 

The last thing that I've noticed that has been drastically different is my healing time. After the last 2 deliveries I struggled with healing and extreme pain. I am pretty sure I can attribute that to God of course but also my diet and lifestyle. I was up and around  on the same day that I delivered. (For those who don't know I have had cesarean deliveries for all my births.) I am so relieved and thankful for not having the excruciating pain that I normally have. 

Now it's time to adjust to life with 3 boys. I've heard its lots of fun, not sure if people were being sarcastic or really telling the truth. We shall soon find out. 

Until next time, kisses and hugs! XOXO


Life Update-Pregnancy and Hair!

Hello All!


The last time we spoke I was telling you all about how we are expecting another child! Now, the countdown begins. I only have 7 weeks and 1 day until we get to meet our precious new baby! We are welcoming them with open arms and hope they can handle the crazy family they will be born into!

This last trimester has been harder on me than others but I am super excited to announce that this is the first pregnancy that I do not have to deal with gestational diabetes! What a relief?! Avoiding temptations when it comes to eating is not something I have been shying away from, I will be honest! So even though I do follow a plant based diet, I still had my worries! I am right on target with my weight and baby is growing normally; so despite the few pains I have here and there, things are going great!

What else is going on in my life? Well, I am taking a break from school right now, I do plan to continue classes after delivery. But running form work to campus and keeping up with a 7 year old and a 2 year old was taking a toll on this mama! But, I still have the motivation to achieve my goals, that is still the plan, just may take a little longer that I had planned. The second change I've made since we last spoke is I cut my hair! You read that right, I cut my hair. I've been asked what made me do it, well it was a combination of wanting to do a 2nd big chop and wanting a change. I loved my long hair but it had no life to it. I wanted something different. I will post some pictures so you guys can see the changes I've made. Needless to say I am happy with the results and can't wait to play in my hair! LOL!

Other than that I have been living my life. Some would say I've been nesting; every chance I get I'm throwing something out to make room for the new baby. Who knew 2 adults, 2 kids and a dog could accumulate so much stuff?! But we have. Things are coming together and I am looking forward to the adventure that lies ahead, being a mommy of 3! OMGEEE!


Once again, thank you guys for taking the time to let me share my life with you!


May Peace Find You Always! XOXO!



What's it worth?

Happy Friday everyone! I missed you all last week and apologize for not posting last week. But lets just back in!

What is it worth? What do I mean? What is your mental health and sanity worth? In my opinion, priceless. There isn't one person or any amount of money that is worth giving up your mental stability. Too many times have we, and I am guilty of this myself, let other people have influence over things we do and our opinions on different things that happen in our lives. It doesn't mean you're weak, it just happens. In the last few months I have done a lot of thinking, meditating and seeking to find what I, Amber, wants in life and out of life. So often our mind and judgement is so clouded with the influence of others, we forget about ourselves. Coming to this realization sometimes comes at a cost, relationships and friendships are some of the things I have had to let go of, in order to keep my mental health stable. We have so many things we can achieve and aspire to do that time should not be wasted on people and things that mean us no good. Sometimes you have to hit that "DELETE" button and not feel guilty about doing it. What good are you to others if you yourself are tapped out? This is the truth I am living in right now. I can no longer surround myself with things and people who do not benefit me. Benefit? Yes, benefit. Are they motivating you to move forward? To reach your goals? Are they supporting you? Even if you are thriving more than they are? Will they lend you an ear if you just need to vent? If the answer to any of these questions is no, or you find that you do all these things and there is no reciprocation, it's time to re-evaluate, and quickly. I will no longer compromise my mental health or sanity to make someone else comfortable. It. Is. Not. Worth. It. Clean out your closet, close the circle and move forward. You will thank yourself! Thanks for taking the time to read this post. As always May Peace. Find You. Always. 





Self-hate. I literally don't know where to begin with this one, so lets just dive right into it. As a child I can never remember myself being truly happy. Now when I say child I'm talking Elementary age and forward. I encountered bullying at a very young age, I'm talking kicking, pushing, pulling my hair, pinching, all of it. As the years progressed. I wasn't physically bullied but I was mentally bullied called ugly, black, fat by both girls and boys. The mental bullying turned quickly into not only others not liking me but me not liking me. Self-hate. I would cry in the mirror looking at myself I would hit myself and pinch angrily at the parts of my body I didn't like. From there, I developed an eating disorder. That lasted about a year. I would hide food from my parent's and find ways to get out of eating, by lying. As the weight quickly began to drop off I got a boost of confidence. False boost. By the time I completed high school I still felt awkward as ever, not really a lot of friends, didn't really feel confident being in people's faces. I don't really remember when in my life that my feelings of my self started to fade, as far as not liking myself, but as I became an adult, I didn't really care as much. I didn't get the mean words and abuse that I had encountered in school. So at this point, I could honestly say, I was okay. So fast forwarding through life 9 years, I'd had a baby, of course put on more weight and I'm right back where I was before. But this time it was different. I didn't have time to think those thoughts anymore, I had a child to take care of and he needs his mommy, no time for self pity or hate. It's time to be a woman! So what did I do? I cut my hair off and freed myself! It was a that moment that I FINALLY felt happy about me! I felt like a woman! I was comfortable in the skin I was in! I couldn't believe this was happening! Cutting my hair off was much more than "going natural" It was THE moment! I felt beautiful! Who know letting go of that could make you love yourself? Not only that but to be inspired to help other's find their own beautiful so they won't have to go through the mind battles I encountered. If I can help them get through it, that would be one of my greatest successes. So now, almost 30 I am feeling the best I've ever felt. I'm loving life, I have an amazing husband, I have a beautiful family and I am BLESSED beyond measure! It's weird to say but I'm thankful for those dark moments in my life! It made Amber who she is today! I hope this helps someone! If you are going through this, been through this or know someone who is, please help them! Silence is the soul's loudest cry!


May Peace Find You Always! XOXO