Forced Relationships

I don't know if I'm comfortable saying everybody has experienced this, but I know a good majority of people have been on one or both ends of a forced relationship. In my opinion both are equally as uncomfortable. 

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As far as forcing yourself on someone that doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, whether it be a friendship or intimate, sometimes there is no clear cut sign that they don't want your company. Unfortunately, some are not able to express their disinterest because they don't want to hurt the other persons feelings or simply they just don't know how to express themselves. Neither one is helpful for either party. I have found myself in this situation multiple times, even after I say I will never force myself on anyone, anymore. What I have tried to do was take a step back and observe to see if my company is wanted; who is initiating the interaction? Am I the one always reaching out? Texting? Speaking first? Showing concern first? Extending invitations? In my case, yes I was. So with these answers, I proceeded to step back and see if the other party would show me the same courtesy, in all cases they did not. How terrible I felt thinking I was so in tune but I missed this. But, like I said it's not always your fault. So, after realizing what had happened, stepping back, I severed ties and sadly, was not missed. But lesson learned. 

Now, on the opposite end of this situation you have someone who is forcing themselves on you and you are not open to their company. This for me is a tricky situation because I am one of those people who don't like to intentionally hurt people's feelings. So, if the other party and I don't seem to be clicking, not on the same wavelength, not vibing. I don't want to humor them by showing in-genuine interest in what they have going on. I keep things very superficial when it comes to conversation and try not to let the conversation get too personal. I know some people may say, well why don't you just come out and say you don't want them around you? Well, for some people you may have to take it to that extreme. For me? I haven't had to do anything to that degree. Thankfully. Usually after I start to pull back, those with whom I'm interacting with just kept it to a superficial interaction and nothing further.

Bottom line is, everyone is not ready for everyone all the time. Sometimes there is just no chemistry and that's okay. You are not required to entertain everybody nor should EVERYONE be in your space. 

I was prompted to write this post because I was recently disappointed by a situation in which I was the person forcing myself on someone but I was doing it unknowingly. I've known this person for a while now and we were close, I thought. I started to get this weird vibe as if, they weren't wanting me to be as close to them as I was thinking we were. I was under the impression that there was something growing but I was sadly mistaken. I stepped back and observed the situation and began to see the situation for what it was. Forced Relationship. I stopped reaching out, stopped initiating interactions and noticed there was nothing reciprocated. In the beginning I was disappointed because this person outright told me that I could talk to them about anything and invited this relationship, but I was misled. After a few weeks of what I thought was a budding relationship, it was nothing but a road leading to nowhere. These things happen so I TRY not to dwell on it. All you can do is learn from your lessons, stand tall and keep walking.

I hope this helped someone. I will talk to you in the next one

 

XOXO